the 17 things that 2017 has taught me - abby
Sometimes painful things teaches us lessons that we didn't think we needed to know. ((Amy Poehler))
This year has been so full, what I thought I went through 2 years ago happened 3 months ago. I've also learned a lot this year, it was a year that I found very difficult, but having gone through 2017 has made me stronger. So here are 17 of the many lessons that 2017 has taught me. There's no particular order based on the level of importance, because every single one of these points have held a huge impact on me in the past year, and have made me who I am today. Enjoy ♡
Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you can take something from these lessons.
Happy Holidays, Everyone!
1. Make yourself a priority.
If you find yourself crying for hours as your body wrinkles in the bathtub, I'd first guess you are either going through a bad breakup or you're too stressed about your life. Stress most of the time comes from too many overwhelming, outer expectations and commitments. So, if that's you, you most likely just need to start saying no to other commitments, and yes to self care (I'll elaborate a bit more on no.12). But seriously, trust me on this, you will feel SO good when you do. Because, at the end of the day, you are your longest commitment. I urge you to take good care of yourself and be careful of how much commitments.
2. Do something each day that your future self will thank you for.
Every breath, every step you take creates an imprint on your future- your decision to move out of your home, to break off a toxic relationship, your decision to pop the question, everything. Some decisions will either come to bless you or to haunt you in the future. Despite that reality, take time in your day to do the things that will advance you in the future, that will make you feel good later, even if it doesn't make you feel good now.
3. Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
You have to make the decision to let go of the past if you want to move forward. Reliving your old realities will poison your mind and your tomorrow. Instead, forgive your past, because it is over, learn and let go. Your past struggle is your strength; if you can resist being negative or bitter about your circumstances, in time, often enough they are the keys to renewed vitality.
4. Don't look back, you're not going that way.
Again, the past is the past, you have no choice but to move forward. It's okay to feel guilty or upset about a past experience, but there is nothing you can do to change it; all you can do for now is to learn from it and use that to your advantage. Dwelling in the past and sulking about it isn't going to further you in life. I've learned that just because I made stupid mistakes in the past, it doesn't make me who I am. They don't define me. Tell yourself the same and work towards the future.
Again, the past is the past, you have no choice but to move forward. It's okay to feel guilty or upset about a past experience, but there is nothing you can do to change it; all you can do for now is to learn from it and use that to your advantage. Dwelling in the past and sulking about it isn't going to further you in life. I've learned that just because I made stupid mistakes in the past, it doesn't make me who I am. They don't define me. Tell yourself the same and work towards the future.
5. Great things never come from comfort zones.
Our comfort zones are only safe spots for us to rest till we decide to come out; it's scary trying new things, scary saying yes to things we normally don't say yes to, but some things take a leap of faith.
Staying in your comfort zone only benefits you the no-stress life, but you live without experience of the things you were too nervous to try. You never know if something is or isn't going to work if you never try. Many of the greatest discoveries would never have happened if risks weren't taken, and comfort zones weren't ditched. Your life provides you with many opportunities to try new things, to en light yourself with experience. Savor life's lemons while you get the chance.
Our comfort zones are only safe spots for us to rest till we decide to come out; it's scary trying new things, scary saying yes to things we normally don't say yes to, but some things take a leap of faith.
Staying in your comfort zone only benefits you the no-stress life, but you live without experience of the things you were too nervous to try. You never know if something is or isn't going to work if you never try. Many of the greatest discoveries would never have happened if risks weren't taken, and comfort zones weren't ditched. Your life provides you with many opportunities to try new things, to en light yourself with experience. Savor life's lemons while you get the chance.
6. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
You're probably not going to get very far if you sit on your couch eating and watching tv all day, unless you're thinking I'm talking about how far in How To Get Away With Murder, then yes sitting and watching Netflix all day will get you far in your favorite series.
But things such as going for a run, cleaning the house and getting your laundry cleaned all takes having the self motivation to get up, and off the couch, and get your stuff done. If you want things to get done, and done well, means that you have to try. Find your biggest motivation, the one that pries your phone out of your hand and that will make you want to get your responsibilities done, so that you can ensure that you follow through with your short missions. Some might be things like the good feeling you get after having done what you needed to do, you earn some sort of reward, or just that you get to move on and do what you really want to do. Find your inspiration that will get you on your feet and will help you gyst (Get Your Stuff Together).
You're probably not going to get very far if you sit on your couch eating and watching tv all day, unless you're thinking I'm talking about how far in How To Get Away With Murder, then yes sitting and watching Netflix all day will get you far in your favorite series.
But things such as going for a run, cleaning the house and getting your laundry cleaned all takes having the self motivation to get up, and off the couch, and get your stuff done. If you want things to get done, and done well, means that you have to try. Find your biggest motivation, the one that pries your phone out of your hand and that will make you want to get your responsibilities done, so that you can ensure that you follow through with your short missions. Some might be things like the good feeling you get after having done what you needed to do, you earn some sort of reward, or just that you get to move on and do what you really want to do. Find your inspiration that will get you on your feet and will help you gyst (Get Your Stuff Together).
7. Stop. Enjoy the moment.
Just stop. Breathe in. Now out. Look around you; where are you? What is the significance of the place you are at right now? Who are you with? How much do they mean to you? Do they know how you feel about them? What do you have with you? Take a moment just to be thankful of what you have, and to enjoy the place that you are at right now. Know that every decision, good or bad, every breath, every word has brought you to where you are right now. More importantly, you are here because of what you have done. Be proud and confident in who you are and how far you've come. We, as a society, have this habit of spending almost every second staring at a screen, waiting for the latest updates, changing our statuses on social media. But sometimes we forget to look up; acknowledge the people around you, invest your time and attention to the people who are worth it. Stop. Look up from your screen. Enjoy the moment.
Just stop. Breathe in. Now out. Look around you; where are you? What is the significance of the place you are at right now? Who are you with? How much do they mean to you? Do they know how you feel about them? What do you have with you? Take a moment just to be thankful of what you have, and to enjoy the place that you are at right now. Know that every decision, good or bad, every breath, every word has brought you to where you are right now. More importantly, you are here because of what you have done. Be proud and confident in who you are and how far you've come. We, as a society, have this habit of spending almost every second staring at a screen, waiting for the latest updates, changing our statuses on social media. But sometimes we forget to look up; acknowledge the people around you, invest your time and attention to the people who are worth it. Stop. Look up from your screen. Enjoy the moment.
8. When anxiety strikes, strike it harder with your Bible.
A good friend told me that anxiety usually starts when I start believing a lie- "I'm not good enough." "This is happening to me because I deserve it." "I'm worthless." Sometimes their the lies that are empowered undetected. You don't realize that you're empowering these lies until someone points it out to you, or your situations reveals this to you. How do you reject these lies? By replacing them with truths: "I am worth it." "This is something that I will overcome." "My situations don't define me."
It's hard to dig up these truths out of nowhere, so my reliable source for my truths come from God. I lean on Him in tough times because He knows me, He knows my situations, and He knows how I'm going to get through them. His Word constantly reminds me of who I am and what I am called to be. When you feel weak and low on self confidence, remind yourself of the truths that will help you overcome adversity.
A good friend told me that anxiety usually starts when I start believing a lie- "I'm not good enough." "This is happening to me because I deserve it." "I'm worthless." Sometimes their the lies that are empowered undetected. You don't realize that you're empowering these lies until someone points it out to you, or your situations reveals this to you. How do you reject these lies? By replacing them with truths: "I am worth it." "This is something that I will overcome." "My situations don't define me."
It's hard to dig up these truths out of nowhere, so my reliable source for my truths come from God. I lean on Him in tough times because He knows me, He knows my situations, and He knows how I'm going to get through them. His Word constantly reminds me of who I am and what I am called to be. When you feel weak and low on self confidence, remind yourself of the truths that will help you overcome adversity.
9. Don't base your decisions on advice of those who don't have to deal with the results.
You know your circumstances the best, you understand the attached emotions to your decisions, and how it will affect you. Sometimes the advice your friends or your coworkers give you about your boy problems aren't always going to do you justice. It's not that they mean to do you harm or to get you dumped, it's just that some things are easier said than done- because they don't have to experience the aftermath of a wrong decision, or an uneasy decision. It's good to seek advice from people with different perspectives, because sometimes your facts aren't straight. But, in the end you should trust your own gut, be faithful to your values and motifs. Take your friends advice into consideration, but don't just do things because Suzy told you to.
You know your circumstances the best, you understand the attached emotions to your decisions, and how it will affect you. Sometimes the advice your friends or your coworkers give you about your boy problems aren't always going to do you justice. It's not that they mean to do you harm or to get you dumped, it's just that some things are easier said than done- because they don't have to experience the aftermath of a wrong decision, or an uneasy decision. It's good to seek advice from people with different perspectives, because sometimes your facts aren't straight. But, in the end you should trust your own gut, be faithful to your values and motifs. Take your friends advice into consideration, but don't just do things because Suzy told you to.
10. God looks beyond imperfections.
I found this lesson hardest to grasp sometimes. I'm still having trouble understanding this reality. I find myself full of doubt that a God, all powerful and sinless, could be so merciful and so loving towards someone like me. How do I deserve this? Well, I don't. That is the truth, I really don't deserve His endless love. But He looks past that; he see's me as His blameless child. He looks beyond my imperfect past, my sinful thoughts, my lost relationships, my spontaneous decisions that nipped me in the butt. Hes forgiven me, and forgotten it all. My past is thrown into the deepest trench, never to be seen again. He gave His life so that He could love me. I am His bride, and like a husband wholly loves his wife, perfections and imperfections, God continues to love me. He saw me when He took a crown of thorns. My sin is buried in Joseph of Arimathea's tomb.
I found this lesson hardest to grasp sometimes. I'm still having trouble understanding this reality. I find myself full of doubt that a God, all powerful and sinless, could be so merciful and so loving towards someone like me. How do I deserve this? Well, I don't. That is the truth, I really don't deserve His endless love. But He looks past that; he see's me as His blameless child. He looks beyond my imperfect past, my sinful thoughts, my lost relationships, my spontaneous decisions that nipped me in the butt. Hes forgiven me, and forgotten it all. My past is thrown into the deepest trench, never to be seen again. He gave His life so that He could love me. I am His bride, and like a husband wholly loves his wife, perfections and imperfections, God continues to love me. He saw me when He took a crown of thorns. My sin is buried in Joseph of Arimathea's tomb.
11. You are lovely. So, so lovely.
If any of you follow me on Instagram, you probably have read my blurbs about my journey on learning to love myself for who I am. I found that when I started to be more confident in who I am, and my identity, being true to myself and not allowing people to tell me things about myself that are not true, that I instantly became happier; I feel better about my testimony, I fell in love with my imperfections, and I stood up for who I was. I started this journey with quitting makeup; a tough decision, because I love the art of makeup, it fascinates me on how with a mirror, decent lighting and a Gucci makeup bag can make you look like a goddess. But, I lost sight of who I was without the makeup- I found myself unrecognizable without my makeup on; I felt I didn't know who I was. This made me feel depressed, made me feel insecure about revealing to the world the bare face that hid behind the many layers of foundations and pressed powders. Makeup became the way for me to be someone I really wasn't, someone that the world would like. But I realized that i am strong and beautiful, inside AND out. I don't need the world to tell me that I am.
This is a journey that you guys should look into; learn to fall in love with who you are and who you are called to be. Love yourself enough to set high standards for relationships. Enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner. Enough to move on. Enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself.
If any of you follow me on Instagram, you probably have read my blurbs about my journey on learning to love myself for who I am. I found that when I started to be more confident in who I am, and my identity, being true to myself and not allowing people to tell me things about myself that are not true, that I instantly became happier; I feel better about my testimony, I fell in love with my imperfections, and I stood up for who I was. I started this journey with quitting makeup; a tough decision, because I love the art of makeup, it fascinates me on how with a mirror, decent lighting and a Gucci makeup bag can make you look like a goddess. But, I lost sight of who I was without the makeup- I found myself unrecognizable without my makeup on; I felt I didn't know who I was. This made me feel depressed, made me feel insecure about revealing to the world the bare face that hid behind the many layers of foundations and pressed powders. Makeup became the way for me to be someone I really wasn't, someone that the world would like. But I realized that i am strong and beautiful, inside AND out. I don't need the world to tell me that I am.
This is a journey that you guys should look into; learn to fall in love with who you are and who you are called to be. Love yourself enough to set high standards for relationships. Enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner. Enough to move on. Enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself.
12. It is okay to say no sometimes; set boundaries.
"It's only by saying 'no' that you can concentrate on the things that are really important" ((Steve Jobs)) Saying no is tough sometimes, because you don't want to disappoint anyone, but, on the other hand, you also want to do the things that are convenient for you. Learn the art of saying no. Don't lie, don't make excuses, don't over explain yourself. Just simply decline. There's no wrong in putting up boundaries, no one is going to thank you for setting them, but do them anyways. Now, don't say no to everything, sometimes you gotta do the things you don't feel like doing. But trust your gut- you'll know when you should or should not do something. Saying no isn't easy, but it's a required skill if you wish to have any degree of focus in your life. If you say yes too often, you'll likely fall into the common trap of saying yes to the common trap of saying yes to the "good" while simultaneously saying no to the best.
"It's only by saying 'no' that you can concentrate on the things that are really important" ((Steve Jobs)) Saying no is tough sometimes, because you don't want to disappoint anyone, but, on the other hand, you also want to do the things that are convenient for you. Learn the art of saying no. Don't lie, don't make excuses, don't over explain yourself. Just simply decline. There's no wrong in putting up boundaries, no one is going to thank you for setting them, but do them anyways. Now, don't say no to everything, sometimes you gotta do the things you don't feel like doing. But trust your gut- you'll know when you should or should not do something. Saying no isn't easy, but it's a required skill if you wish to have any degree of focus in your life. If you say yes too often, you'll likely fall into the common trap of saying yes to the common trap of saying yes to the "good" while simultaneously saying no to the best.
13. God has a bigger and better plan for you than you have for yourself.
God's plan is always the best. Sometimes the process is painful and hard. But don't forget that when god is silent, He's doing something for you. God tells us in Isaiah 46:4 that, "He made you, and He will carry you, He will sustain you and He will rescue you." God's got you, and He's going to take care of you. His plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day. You are where God wants you to be at this very moment, every experience is apart of His divine plan. Now, sometimes, God's plans don't perfectly align with your own, but trust me in that his plan is better. If God knew that your plan was the best plan for you, then He would've made it happen. But because things don't always go the way we wanted them do, dates fall through, jobs are lost, hope feels like it's passed, just know that God's got something big for you in the working.
God's plan is always the best. Sometimes the process is painful and hard. But don't forget that when god is silent, He's doing something for you. God tells us in Isaiah 46:4 that, "He made you, and He will carry you, He will sustain you and He will rescue you." God's got you, and He's going to take care of you. His plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day. You are where God wants you to be at this very moment, every experience is apart of His divine plan. Now, sometimes, God's plans don't perfectly align with your own, but trust me in that his plan is better. If God knew that your plan was the best plan for you, then He would've made it happen. But because things don't always go the way we wanted them do, dates fall through, jobs are lost, hope feels like it's passed, just know that God's got something big for you in the working.
14. Look at the bright side of your situations.
Here's the truth, it's very easy to be pessimistic, but it makes your problems grow and become overwhelming. And the opposite happens when you think optimistically- Optimism is a happiness magnet; when you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you. So, instead of thinking of your situations as half empty glasses, look at it in mind that it is half full. Good things come your way when you think good thoughts.
Here's the truth, it's very easy to be pessimistic, but it makes your problems grow and become overwhelming. And the opposite happens when you think optimistically- Optimism is a happiness magnet; when you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you. So, instead of thinking of your situations as half empty glasses, look at it in mind that it is half full. Good things come your way when you think good thoughts.
15. The things you say and do hold so much power; even the little things you do can change people forever, including ourselves.
Our words can either build someone up or destroy someone. We are empowered to impact the people around us with our verbal and non verbal language. Whether we like it or not, we're always being watched (not in the creepy way--) and our every move and expression is seen by the people around us. Be it that you're giving an opinion about something your friend did recently, or to an extreme that you break down in the middle of class (which totally didn't happen to me...)
We are responsible for the change in peoples lives, the small changes and the big changes. So this is where I tell you to be mindful of the impact your words have on your family, your friends, your coworkers and the Instagram posts belonging to people you don't know. Be conscious of what you say and do.
Our words can either build someone up or destroy someone. We are empowered to impact the people around us with our verbal and non verbal language. Whether we like it or not, we're always being watched (not in the creepy way--) and our every move and expression is seen by the people around us. Be it that you're giving an opinion about something your friend did recently, or to an extreme that you break down in the middle of class (which totally didn't happen to me...)
We are responsible for the change in peoples lives, the small changes and the big changes. So this is where I tell you to be mindful of the impact your words have on your family, your friends, your coworkers and the Instagram posts belonging to people you don't know. Be conscious of what you say and do.
16. Anxiety ends when you make it less about you and more about God.
I don't even know where to start on this one-- anxiety. Wow. That gut wrenching feeling that I got when I got dumped by a guy that you've been head over heals for for about two years was one of the instances when it got the worst for me. (I'm not exactly convinced I should be talking about this on the internet, but I'm going to tell you anyways). I spent 4 hours every night crying for about a week and a half, not to mention the fact that I was working full time taking care of 14 kids, by myself, everyday, that added even more weight onto my shoulders. It was just so hard to cope. This guy, I thought, we were going to move into a little apartment some day, rest bundled up by the fire all day, writing short stories together. Not a single time did I ever imagine him not being mine. That's probably what was the most scary for me; not belonging to someone. I do recall praying to God about it, pleading for help, for comfort, but I was still so in my head, thinking, selfishly, on how alone I felt, instead of moving on. I blamed God for it; that He took him away from me, that God didn't understand what He was doing to me. It took me a while to realize that I was leaving God out of the picture- I needed to make it less about me and more about God. My anxiety was only there because I was still carrying the weight of something that Jesus already dealt with on Calvary Hill. I needed to let go, and let God. And when I started trusting God and disrupting my anxiety with gratitude, I could finally get sleep, I could finally move on and continue on with my life full of confidence. When I focused more on God, I found myself letting go of my anxiety. I was free.
I don't even know where to start on this one-- anxiety. Wow. That gut wrenching feeling that I got when I got dumped by a guy that you've been head over heals for for about two years was one of the instances when it got the worst for me. (I'm not exactly convinced I should be talking about this on the internet, but I'm going to tell you anyways). I spent 4 hours every night crying for about a week and a half, not to mention the fact that I was working full time taking care of 14 kids, by myself, everyday, that added even more weight onto my shoulders. It was just so hard to cope. This guy, I thought, we were going to move into a little apartment some day, rest bundled up by the fire all day, writing short stories together. Not a single time did I ever imagine him not being mine. That's probably what was the most scary for me; not belonging to someone. I do recall praying to God about it, pleading for help, for comfort, but I was still so in my head, thinking, selfishly, on how alone I felt, instead of moving on. I blamed God for it; that He took him away from me, that God didn't understand what He was doing to me. It took me a while to realize that I was leaving God out of the picture- I needed to make it less about me and more about God. My anxiety was only there because I was still carrying the weight of something that Jesus already dealt with on Calvary Hill. I needed to let go, and let God. And when I started trusting God and disrupting my anxiety with gratitude, I could finally get sleep, I could finally move on and continue on with my life full of confidence. When I focused more on God, I found myself letting go of my anxiety. I was free.
17. God loves you so much more than any other person could ever love you.
I just about cry every time I try to think about how deep God's love for me is. Sure, we were sung in Sunday School as children that Jesus Loves the Little Children, but have you ever thought about how much? He loved you so much, that He took all the sins of the 108.2 billion people who have lived on this earth. That must've been really heavy to carry. And that's only the people who have lived on earth till now, that isn't counting the people who are going to live on it in the future. And Christ took it all. That is how much He loves us. He thought of me as He we bore the crown of thorns, and He thinks of me still. If you find yourself alone, with no one to love, just know that God will always love you, and that He is always there to take care of you. That alone makes me feel overwhelmed and that's not even the best way to explain the depth of God's love. I recommend looking up on YouTube videos of people's testimonies of their faith, or just preaches that will help you further understand how loving of a god He is.
I just about cry every time I try to think about how deep God's love for me is. Sure, we were sung in Sunday School as children that Jesus Loves the Little Children, but have you ever thought about how much? He loved you so much, that He took all the sins of the 108.2 billion people who have lived on this earth. That must've been really heavy to carry. And that's only the people who have lived on earth till now, that isn't counting the people who are going to live on it in the future. And Christ took it all. That is how much He loves us. He thought of me as He we bore the crown of thorns, and He thinks of me still. If you find yourself alone, with no one to love, just know that God will always love you, and that He is always there to take care of you. That alone makes me feel overwhelmed and that's not even the best way to explain the depth of God's love. I recommend looking up on YouTube videos of people's testimonies of their faith, or just preaches that will help you further understand how loving of a god He is.
Please let me know if there's any points I should expand on or clarify; sometimes my ideas sound way better in my head than on a screen.
Happy Holidays, Everyone!
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